What's Left
by But I Have Promises To Keep
Summary: Shawn is back, but what does he want? And when the truth comes out, can Natara once again look deep into Shawn's past and figure out his motives? Or will she lose everything becasue of it?
1. Chapter 1

**Just as a side note, like most of my stories, this will be placed pre-Blaise's arrival. She's an interesting character, but I've only seen her in four episodes and still don't really have a proper feel for her character. I do want go write a fanfiction for her eventually, but I'm going to wait a Monday or two (if she's still alive) and then maybe do it. I know right now though, just like Kai, I'm going to majorly struggle with writing for her.**

**Also, this is inspired by _Breaking Benjamin_'s song, "Dear Agony".**

You are now former Special Agent Shawn Mallory

You run your hand through your recently-dyed hair, opening the curtains of your hotel room to let the faint San Francisco sun enter your room. Things are going well. It was the pressure you think, the combination of Natara leaving, your job, Genevieve, and the effects of the medication for your leg didn't help. The pressure that made you what you were. But you have a new life now. A new name. You are different, you are better. Your thoughts better organized, your mind clearer. You are different. You are better that Shawn Mallory, for you are _not_ Shawn Mallory. But you don't really know who you are now either. What you're going to be. But your new life is getting better, and you've found you really don't need a name to live. There is one thing though, one thing that is wrong. That needs to be dealt with. For you know you can't live your new life properly until you fix your old one. 

You are now Detective Mal Fallon

You stroll normally into the bullpen, your partner Natara at your side. You do not speak, for you see Captain Yeong is in the bullpen. She appears to be waiting for you.  
>"Fallon, Williams" she says, cocking her head slightly behind her to signal you both into her office. You obey and follow behind her, Natara close on your heels. Knowing what's coming, you sit in a chair next to Natara in front of her desk. Captain Yeong sits across from you, but unlike usual she has no file before her.<br>After a moment of silence you say

"So who died this time?". Captain Yeong peers at you over her gasses. Natara gives you a look of half amusement, half annoyance. But after a moment she looks back at Captain Yeong, her face clearly asking the same question.

"Actually it's who hasn't died…that we know of" Captain Yeong says. You once again exchanged a look with Natara, and see her nose is scrunched in confusion. You are just about to ask what Capatin Yeong is talking about, but she continues anyway.

"Last week we had an anonymous caller inform us about the murder of a local drug-dealer we've been looking for. All they said was that he was murdered. We didn't even know about it, but the next morning the body turned up in an ally. No prints, the killer left no forensic evidence. Cause of death was a single bullet wound to the head".

"So you think the caller did it?" you say.

"We don't know yet, but they obviously have some connection".

"I don't see the problem" Natara says "We get a lot of anonymous callers, what makes this one so different?".

"Last night we got another call" Captain Yeong answers "A kidnapper and murderer who's evaded us since last August who was, accorded to the caller, killed last night. Word hasn't reached us yet about a body, or even if this guys still alive".

"Hasn't Amy gotten anything? Voice recognition? Or even traced the call?" you ask.

Captain Yeong shakes her head "The call came from two different pay phones on the opposite sides of the city. Voice has been edited somehow. Still, I'd see if Amy has anything anyways". You nod, taking that as a dismissal and exiting with Natara. You glance at her warily was you walk downstairs to the crime lab, trying to see her reaction. There are several differences, but you can't ignore the first thing that popped into your head after being briefed on this case. That this sounds all-too similar to something Shawn would do. You know that this is impossible, but there is something about it that nags you.


	2. Chapter 2

**mozzi-girl: **

**Thanks! I love how we love all the same bands, I know you said you like _Skillet_ and_ Evanescence_ before.** **Are you a _Three Day's Grace_ fan too? Just wondering, since their ****one of my favorites too and that would be kinda weird but kinda cool, because that would mean we like the same music!  
><strong>

You are now Special Agent Natara Williams

You walk into the station the next morning, Mal at your side. Suddenly remember you forgot a few papers in Mal's car, you say "Hold on, forgot something in your car. Meet you down at the crime lab?". Mal nods and you run back outside, the strong wind whipping your hair about your face and briefly obscuring your eyes. Pulling your hair out of your face, you sprint back to Mal's car and quickly retrieve your papers. You slam the door, but the papers are immediately whipped out of your hand.

"Dammit!" you yell, but your exclamation of anger is lost in the winds howl. Feeling stupid, you run after your papers. Several only dropped to the ground, but a few are swept off the parking lot and onto the sidewalk. You run forward, stomping your foot one one, trapping it, but also pushing it into the rough ground. Without even looking at it, you grab it from under your foot and go after the next one and retrieve it, leaving only one paper left. It's blown across the street, and only after quickly glancing at nearby traffic do you sprint across and stomp your foot on the paper. You reach down to pick it up, but someone else was already doing the same. Before you can react to the man grabbing the paper, you bend down to grab it. Your heads meet as you reach for it, and you instinctively look up. Your eyes meet a familiar sight, and you instinctively recoil and exclaim _"You!_".  
>Then man's eyes widen with pure shock and he begins to back up as if he thinks you are mad. You simply stand, utterly shocked for a moment. You could have sworn this man was Shawn, but it is not. He has a similar build to Shawn, similar face and eyes. But this man's hair is a much lighter color, blonde even. He also has a long scar across his face, and unlike Shawn does not wear glasses.<p>

"Sorry" you say quickly "I thought you were someone else". You see the man is still holding your paper, but notice he still seems shocked. This doesn't surprise you, you had practically screamed at him earlier. After a long and awkward second the man hands you the paper, walking away. Still, as you cross the street, you can't help but think the man is still watching you.

You are now former Special Agent Shawn Mallory.

In anger you slam your hands down on the sink in the bathroom of your hotel, hanging your head. You saw her, only an hour ago, you saw her. But did she recognize you? No. Not with the blonde hair, or the contacts. Not with the scars. But it was there, briefly. Only when their eyes had met, when she had exclaimed "You!". You look up in the mirror above the sink, hating every aspect of what you've become. She hates you, and even worse, you know she has a good reason to.

You are now Special Agent Natara Williams

"Nat!" your partner says, calling you out of your daze. It startled you, but you do not show it.

"What?" you asked angrily, annoyed for no particular reason. You watch as Mal's eyebrows raise questioningly at you.

"You seem a little…off. What's up?".

For a second you almost tell him that you swore you saw Shawn only an hour before. The utter shock you felt, yelling at the man you have mistaken for him.  
>But you don't, you simply say "It's nothing" and get back to work, telling yourself it was only your mind playing tricks on you. That this case, so similar to Shawn's, is bringing back bad memories. That you'll be fine as soon as you solve it.<p>

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading! Please review? :)<strong> 


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks so much for the wonderful reviews! :D**

You are now former Special Agent Shawn Mallory

You can't help it, seeing her. It makes you go back to a simpler times. Before she shot you, before any of the events that led to this happened. And so, even though you hate yourself for it, you find yourself sitting on a bench across the street. It's very close to the spot where you saw a woman chasing after the papers that were swept out of her hands, a woman you didn't realize was Natara. Around noon you watch as she and Mal walk outside, obviously on a lunch break. Mal says something to her, and you watch as she throws her head back and laughs. Her voice carries across the street, muffled by the passing cars and people. They clearly are walking to their destination, for they walk onto the sidewalk and towards a small Chinese place nearby. You watch as she's just about to enter, but as she opens the door and turns to say something to Mal her eyes meet yours once again. She freezes briefly, before saying something to Mal, who nods. He enters, and to your surprise she crosses the street to you. You hope she isn't coming to you, because you can't imagine what would happen if she found out who you were. But to your dismay she head in your direction, and you quickly try and think of a way to leave without her following. But before you even begin to think she's standing in front of you, smiling rather awkwardly.  
>"Hey" she says "Sorry about yesterday, I didn't thank you properly and felt bad for yelling. I really thought you were someone else". You sit quietly, unsure what to say. What could you say? She'd defiantly know your voice of she heard it, and it would certainly give you away.<p>

You are now Special Agent Natara Williams

You can't help but be slightly taken back at the unresponsive man before you. He hasn't responded to you, and you suspect he doesn't speak English, or is maybe even mute . He simply looks at you with widened eyes, clearly unsure what to do.  
>"Thanks…for yesterday" you say quickly, getting out of the conversation. You start to walk away, but as you start to cross the street you can see a blonde head moving down the crowd. You briefly see the figure, and freeze in a moment of utter shock. Even from here, you can see the man walks with a distinct limp.<p>

You are now Detective Mal Fallon

You watch as Natara, after saying she needed to check something, walks through the glass doors. She comes to where you are sitting and waiting for your order to be ready, seeing she has a rather shocked look on her face.  
>"What was that?" you ask.<br>"Nothing" she says all-too quickly "Just…thought I saw someone I knew".

You are now former Special Agent Shawn Mallory

As soon as Natara turns her back you flee, going as fast as the crowd will allow. You fear many thing, one of which is her looking back and recognizing your limp. You did, after all, train her to be the best profiler she could be. You're surprised she hasn't noticed something already, all it would take would be an unconscious gesture that she recognizes. Or even a better look at your face. Still, as you stumble back to your hotel a wild thought runs through your head.  
><em>'I could leave. Leave San Francisco, forget everything'.<em>  
>But you know you can't. Because you have work to do before you go.<p>

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading, please please please review?<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Review Replies:**

_**mozzi-girl:**_

**Thanks! Also, thanks for noticing my typo (I hate typo's, I replace my chapters as much as five times because of them). I can't believe I missed that! Thanks for telling me :) **

_** Oryt:**_

**Thanks! and you'll soon find out what 'work' Shawn has to do *mysterious smile*.**

**_Things In Ink:_**

**Thanks so much!**

* * *

><p><span>You are now Jenna Rose<span>

"No, mom, I can't come home this year" you say into your cell phone "Dean and I are spending our first Christmas together".

"You're spending Christmas with Dean?" your mother asks.

You sigh in annoyance. "Mom, we've been engaged for two months now. I'm twenty one, you can't control me forever".

You hear your mother give an equally annoyed sigh on the line. "Look Jenna, it's late. Go back to your dorm and we'll talk about it later. I worry about you walking through such a big city alone at night. Christmas is months away, we have plenty of time to talk about it when you're safe and inside your dorm".

You walk to the edge of an alleyway, which leads directly to your campus, and stop. "Okay. And I'm near my school now, don't worry".

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay on the phone until you're on campus? It's safer that way".

"Mom" you say "I've been going to school here for two years, I think I know how to stay out if trouble".

"Okay, bye sweetie. Love you".

"Love you too, bye". You hang up, slipping your phone back in your bag. You suddenly notice how eerily silent everything has gone. Although you do this every day, you can't help the chill that runs down your spine as you set off down the ally. The walls seem to absorb all sound, creating an ominous abyss filled with suffocating silence. Suddenly a sharp and intense pain on your hairline makes you stop, and you instinctively reach up to your hair with your hands. But whatever it's caught on has a tight grip on it, and you struggle for a moment before a your mouth is covered by a strong yet gentle hand.

"Shhhh…" says a silvery voice, calm and steady "It's okay, I got you. I'm not going to let you go…". The person who had grabbed you, which you take as a man by the deep voice, let's go of your hair and pats it down gently. Tenderly, almost lovingly, he grabs your wrist. In the moment in which the grip over your mouth lessens you bite down on his finger, the coppery taste of blood entering your mouth. You hear the man squeak in pain, but you're already struggling and trying to run. You get a few feet away from the man, until he once again grabs your hair. The sudden force make your head snap back, and you fall to the ground, your head slamming into the cement. You scream, but your call is swallowed by the walls. For a brief and terrifying moment you stare up at the underside of the roofs above, thinking that this will be the last thing you'll see. Through the space between the roofs, you can barely make out the star-filled night sky.

"Ssshhhhh…" says the voice again. You shiver involuntary as the figure bends down, tracing your jaw line lovingly. "I promise I'm not going to hurt you, not again".

You are now Special Agent Natara Williams

"Jenna Mae Rose, age twenty-one, apparently went missing last night" Amy says. You and Mal are standing behind her, watching as her fingers nimbly dance across her keyboard and pull up a picture of a college-aged girl. She looks older than twenty one, with her light blonde hair and defined face. It's some sort of profile, a Facebook you suspect.

"Our little friend called again?" Mal asks.

Amy nods "Yes. I ran voice recognition and traced the call, but all I know is it's that same person all three times. The call came from another pay phone".

"Maybe we should listen to all the calls, maybe we can find something" you suggest.

"Why?" Mal asks "We know word for word what they said, does it really matter if we hear an actually voice?".  
>You nod "There could be background noises, or even the way they say something could give something away".<br>Amy nods and begins bringing back recording of the phone calls. She starts the recording of the first one. It begins with a long pause, the only sound on the recording is the sound of muffled cars. After a few seconds you hear a the somewhat familiar voice of whoever answered it. You know it's another officer, but you can't think of a name.

_"Hello?"_

There is another long pause, then the sound of ruffled fabric.

_"I'd like to report a homicide"_says the voice on the line. It's calm, clearly male. The voice is muffled as if they're holding a cloth to their mouth, which you know is a easy way to disguise your voice.

_"Who is this?"_the familiar voice snaps, clearly taking the call as a prank from the callers calm voice.

_"The body's in an ally. By fifth street, near the docks-"_. The voice falls silent, and you can hear both party's breathing, waiting for the other to speak. After a prolonged moment you hear the caller hang up, and the call ends there. The next call begins playing, and it's almost identical to the first aside from leaving out the location of the body. The third simply is a report of Jenna's abduction, describing how the girl was taken from an ally. How the girl, apparently unconscious, was taken into a red truck under the cover of night.

"You get anything from that?" Mal asks you. You shake your head, and at that moment Amy's desk phone rings. Amy picks it up, and is only on for a minute before she hangs up.

"Captain Yeong needs to see you, now" she says to you and Mal "Emphasis on _now_ ". After a quick glance at your partner you head up the stairs together, immediately heading into Captain Yeong's office. You are somewhat surprised to see an older woman, mid-forties maybe, sitting across from Captain Yeong, looking distraught. As you study her face for a moment, you quickly figure out who she is. There's no mistaking the platinum blonde hair, she must be Jenna's mother.

"Here" says Captain Yeong "This is Special Agent Williams and Detective Fallon, they're already working on finding your-"

Jenna's mother quickly cuts across Captain Yeong "Please, you have to find Jenna. Soon".

"We'll do all we can ma'am" Mal says calmly.

"You don't understand" she says worriedly "Jenna needs to be found now. She's diabetic, unless her abductor knows that and gives her her insulin, she won't make it more than forty-eight hours".

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><p><strong>After this, I think I'm either going to do<em> 'The Purple Ribbon<em>' or _'Ten things'_ as my next Fanfic. I've already had people telling me to do both, and I don't know which to do next. I'm thinking _'The Purple Ribbon'_, what do you think? Summaries can be found at the bottom of my profile.  
><strong>


	5. Chapter 5

You are now Jenna Rose

You open your eyes to bright lights, then immediately shut them in pain from the light. You can feel a sharp pain behind your head, but can't remember where it got there. You can hear someone moving things around, footsteps, then feel a gentle hand touch your shoulder, stroking it lovingly.

"No…Dean, let me sleep. I'll meet you in Algebra, I have a head ache…".

"Come on Kate" says a silvery voice "If you don't feel well go to bed. The flu is nothing to mess with".  
>Your eyes snap open, and you find yourself staring into the face of a red-headed man. It all comes back. The ally. The pain of your hair being pulled. The gentle voice, hitting your head on the concrete. Passing out just as the man strokes your jawline.<p>

"Who…who are you?" you ask, trembling. You begin to sit up from the couch you were lying on, your eyes scanning the room. It looks like a living room from the nineties, with the plaid couch, old recliner and floor model TV.

"Kate, it's me. Charlie. You must really be sick". Charlie reaches forward to press his fingers against your forehead, and you recoil.

"Don't touch me!".

To your surprise Charlie smiles, reaching to take your hand. "Come one Kate, why don't you go to bed awhile? Don't worry, I'll sleep on the couch so you don't have to worry about giving me the flu".  
>He grabs your wrist a little too roughly, forcing you to stand. You suddenly notice is how dry your mouth is, and know why.<p>

"Please" you beg "please, I need my insulin. My blood sugars too high. I have some, in my bag. Just please let me take it".

Charlie still smiles as he says "Don't be silly Kate, you don't need insulin".

"No, no my name is Jenna" you plead "You must think I'm someone else. Please, I'm Jenna. Jenna Rose. Please let me go…" you once again beg, trying to reason with him. But Charlie's already leading you down the hall, and you can see something shiny in his other hand. You immediately think it's a knife, and your mind begins to silently panic. You look around the hall, desperately trying to find a way to escape. But before you even begin to think Charlie leads you back to a small bedroom with a large bed with a metal frame. Compared the the rest of the house that you've seen its oddly bland and plain. It's sparsely furnished, the plain white-grey walls enhancing the boring effect. Charlie roughly shoves you forward, revealing the metal object in his hand. It's a pair of metal handcuffs, the key lodged in one of the locks. Before you can even begin to struggle he's already snapped one end around your wrist, the other to a metal bar on the bed. He locks it, sticking the tiny key in his pocket. You furiously try and get out, pulling and tugging, but the only thing you manage to accomplish is making the two pieces of metal clang loudly. The stress of it all brings you near tears, and you feel a lump begin to form in your throat.

"Shhhhh…" says Charlie "Just get some rest Kate". Your utterly speechless as he walks out of the room, turning out the lights and closing and locking the door behind him. You sit on the edge of the bed, burying your face in your free hand and crying. After several minutes you look up, seeing a small nightstand by the bed. It's close enough for you to reach, so you very slowly open the only drawer and peer inside, looking for anything that could be used to pick a lock. The only thing the drawer contains is a box of tissues and a bible, and you slam the drawer in anger. As you do you notice what's on top. Several magazines and books, messily laid across the surface. But something about they way their placing tells you they were placed to look messy, as if Charlie is trying to recreate something.

You are now former special agent Shawn Mallory

You sit and watch the house that you know contains the missing girl, Jenna. In your hand is a recently bought cell phone, the disposable kind. You think for a moment, trying to figure out what you can say. While you think you try and look for the handkerchief you've been using to disguise your voice once again, which you recently misplaced. You know there's know time to get another one, you know what Charlie's soon going to do. You did, after all, watch as Genevieve 'created' him as you recovered from your fall. You give up, accepting that the identity of the anonymous caller you have created will evaporate soon. You think for a moment, knowing you have to give away clues to who this man is, while still not entirely giving it away. You could easily simply tell her all you know, but that would be too simple. You know that Natara needs to do this on her own, so she knows she's a good agent. So you can take back the self-doubt you gave her all those months ago.

You are now Special Agent Natara Williams

You pick up Jenna's plastic-bag encased cell phone from the table, examining it quickly. A few hours before Amy had traced Jenna's cell phone, finding it in an ally near her university. Her bag and it's contents had been dumped along the ally, obviously forgotten during Jenna's abduction.

"Find anything on this stuff?" Mal asks, picking up the bag containing Jenna's insulin.

"No, poor thing though. Doesn't even have a chance to get her medicine, abductor left everything behind".

Mal sets the bag down "Well, I highly doubt her first thoughts while being abducted would be to tell her attacker she's diabetic". You feel your phone vibrate in your pocket. You check the ID, seeing the call's from an unfamiliar number.

"Hello?" you say as you answer. Mal and Amy still chat in the background, and you turn slightly away from them to hear the caller better.

"August 9th. 1987".  
>You know that voice. It's all-too familiar, and in utter shock you say the name of voices owner.<p>

"Shawn?" you say a little too loudly. Suddenly the crime lab falls silent, and you hear someone drop something in shock. You hear Amy squeak soon after, as if you've just uttered a disguising obscenity. You can almost feel the eyes of the room on you. You freeze up in shock, unsure what else to say. But Shawn's voice goes on.

"November 13th, 1989".

In utter shock, all you can stutter is "What-I don't-what are you-".

"December 19th. 1995".  
>And that's it. You hear the other line hang up, and Shawn's voice is replaced by a loud ring.<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, so some of you might gave been like 'The purple ribbon…what kind of title is that?'. Well, I'm changing it it 'The colored ribbon', because the reason was I thought the autism awareness ribbon was purple. My school sold purple autism awareness ribbons a few weeks ago, but when I looked it up the ribbon is rainbow colors. My school is a fail…purple's for pancreas cancer. Anyways, I'm going to wait and see if anyone else comments on what they want to see then I'll announce what I'm doing. I may also save 'The Colored Ribbon' for April since it's autism awareness month. By the way, I updated these two chapters (five and this one) together today because this one is kinda boring because all it does is explain the mystery of the killer and how Shawn is involved. There is almost no action, but it hopefully clarifies some of the mystery here. **

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><p><span>You are now Detective Mal Fallon<span>

"Got it!" Amy exclaims from across the room. After saying several dates that the caller had said, Amy had quickly looked them up. "There are three newspaper articles in particular, they all have the same person involved and…wow".

"What?" you ask.

"It's just…this poor kid". You walk up beside her, glancing over to Natara. After the phone call she had almost isolated herself, talking very little and distracting herself by examining the evidence, keeping her face down as she did so. Amy follows your gaze over to Natara, shaking her head to tell you to let Natara be. You look back at the computer, which shows off three newspaper articles. The first one reads:

_'August ninth. 1987_  
><em>Local boy, age ten, gunned down by drug addict at bus stop'.<em>  
>The article goes in to talk about how the drag addicts motive was hallucinations, and how he killed himself before police showed up. How the drug addicts dealer wasn't apprehended, but they knew who it was. How another boy, also age ten, survived after jumping behind a parked car.<p>

"Sound familiar?" Amy asks. You shake your head, and she adds "The drug dealer that wasn't apprehended, same guy we found in an ally last week".

"So how do the other articles relate?" you ask.  
>"See for yourself". You lean forward to read the tiny print of the next article.<p>

_'November 13th. 1989_  
><em>Shooting survivor sparks his own kidnapping. <em>  
><em>Justin Magnolia, who survived the shooting of a fellow classmate two years ago, was abducted by his own father. Justin's mother, Millicent Magnolia, comments that Justin's father grabbed his son and got in their car, exclaiming he will not be returning. Police are led to believe Justin has been murdered, as his father was sure to grab his gun before taking his son. Zachary Magnolia, Justin's father, also has a record of small violent felonies, promoting the theory of Justin's murder. After police questioned Mrs. Magnolia, they are led to believe the recent economic toll of paying for post-traumatic phycological therapy for Justin may have triggered this sudden action, as the subject sparked many fights.<em>

"Go on" says Amy, seeing you are done. You obey, reading the final article. It is small, only a few sentence's long.

_'December 19th. 1995_  
><em>House fire kills one, hospitalized one. <em>  
><em>A house fire last night, caused by an electrical malfunction, killed Kaitlin Roan and hospitalized her husband, Charlie Roan. Charlie, who suffered from smoke inhalation, claims Kaitlin was suffering from the flu and took some medication to help her sleep. With the smoke and the medication combined, Kaitlin did not wake when the fire alarms went off. Charlie, who had fallen asleep if the couch after Kaitlin had gone to bed, heard the alarms and fled. He didn't know the fire had started in their bedroom after the electric heat sparked, catching fire to the curtains. Charlie waited outside for Kaitlin, but when she didn't come out he attempted to go after her, but was restrained by fire police.<em>

As soon as you're done reading Amy closes out, pulling up a police report. "This is how the first is connected to the others" she explains.

_ SFPD_  
><em>Case number: 548826494<em>  
><em>Incident: Kidnapping<em>  
><em>Address of occurrence: 342 Northwood Dr. San Francisco California. <em>  
><em>Date of Incident: July 15th 1995<em>  
><em>Officers injuredassaulted: No_  
><em>Victim(s): Justin Magnolia, age 18 as of 612/95. No injuries. _  
><em>Victim Fatalityinjury: No_  
><em>Offender name: Zachary Magnolia<em>  
><em>Offender fatality: yes.<em>  
><em>Self inflicted: yes<em>  
><em>Weapon(s) used: knifecutting instrument. Offender slit own throat while standing on boating dock near above address (home). Afterwards body fell into water, not recovered. _

After finishing you look up, your eyebrows raised.  
>"Justin Magnolia changed his first name to Charlie, then took on his wife's name when they married so he wouldn't be connected" Amy comments.<p>

"So what exactly does it mean?" you ask.

"It means this guys taking his anger out" Natara says, suddenly. You hadn't noticed she was reading over your shoulder. "He got rid of everyone involved in his friends murder. After that he wanted revenge on his father, but wasn't able to get it since he's dead. The other guy was probably someone he tracked down somehow, then he disposed of his body like his fathers. Jenna probably resembles his wife, so he's taken her to reenact his wife's death".

"But why?" Amy asks "Wouldn't he want it to never happen again? Or even forget and move on?".

Natara answers "he can control it. The first time around he didn't know what was happening and he lived in fear. It's just like someone who rides a roller coaster multiple times. The second time they know what's happening, so they can experience each moment without being distracted by fear. Maybe it's even so he can say his last goodbyes to his 'wife'. Or even change something he did".

"So in other words, he thinks Jenna is his wife?" Amy asks.

"Most likely, if not he's pretending" Natara says.

"But where's Jenna?" Mal asks "Sure, we figured all that out, but where's did he take her?".

Amy says "Where else would she be? The only room in that house that was destroyed was the bedroom, and I have records saying it was repaired several years ago".

"So what triggered this?" You ask "This all-of-a-sudden killing spree".

"Isn't it obvious?" Natara asks "Genevieve found him, she started this. That's how Shawn knows all this. He killed for attention, like a child misbehaving for attention. Now, just like a repenting child, he's trying to help us to make it up. He's trying to make amends by helping with a case".

"Then why did he keep his identity a secret?" Amy asks "Wouldn't he want to you to know it's him?".

"Probably so we didn't track his phone, knowing it was him" you answer "But it's most likely a burn phone, so he probably got rid if the cell phone already-"

"-And so it would be useless to try and track it" says Natara, finishing your sentence.

"What I want to know, is why Shawn doesn't outright tell you who it is. Why only give you hints?" you ask.  
>There's a long pause, then Natara says "I don't know, but right now our best chance of finding him is tracking down Jenna and Charlie. He saw Jenna being taken, so there's a chance he's watching this too. That means he'll be close".<p>

"Then we should go" you say quickly "We're wasting time, Jenna could be burning right now".  
>Natara nods and you go up the stairs, Natara on your heels. As you go put the door you both grab vests, walking right out to the darkening parking lot.<p>

"Take your car" says Natara "A squad car would give us away".  
>You nod, getting in the drivers side as Natara get in the passenger side. You pull out, heading in the direction of the address Amy said the house was. As you near it, and you hope you're imagining it, you think you see smoke rising in the night.<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

You are now Special Agent Natara Williams

Mal barely has time to park the car before you've thrown yourself out. You race to the small building, which stands almost alone on the top of a hill. You sprint up, almost slipping on the grass as you run up the hill until you reach sidewalk. You hear Mal coming behind you, and you briefly stop as you see the building before you. It's engulfed in flames, orange and red licking the outside. Barely thinking over the matter, you sprint around the the back of the house. The flames are smaller here, and you run through the unlocked back door and into the hot hallway. Several doors line the hall, some spilling smoke and flame at the bottom.

"Look for Jenna" Mal says, coughing slightly "I'm going after Charlie".  
>You nod, opening the nearest door. The smoke that pours out is overpowering, creating a veil of grey that makes your eyes water. Coughing, you peer inside to find a room completely engulfed in flames. Hoping Jenna wasn't in there, you shut the door to contain the overpowering heat.<p>

"Jenna!" you try and call out, trying to find the girl. All that comes out is a strangled cough, unheard by anybody. You open the door to the next room, more smoke billowing out. Covering your mouth with your sleeve, you cautiously enter to a small and lightly charred bedroom. You see a blonde figure on the other side, clearly struggling with something. The figure is obscured by smoke and flame, but you can see they're looking at you as you enter.

"Help me!" she cries, and you run across to girl you recognize as Jenna. Her wrist is bound to the bed with a handcuff, the hot metal of which has burnt a ring around her wrist. She helplessly tugs at her chain, and you try and help her pull. But the smoke is making you both groggy, you can tell. Your vision is beginning to swim in and out of focus, the heat bothers you less. Eventually the heat makes the metal loosen, and you are able to make one of the links open. Jenna, who you now notice has her shirt above her nose, gets up and begins to flee. She looks back at you, expecting you to follow.

"Go" you tell her, your voice wheezy "Get out". After a moments pause she obeys, and you begin to stumble out of the room to look for Mal. You hear him, coughing loudly from a large room at the end of the hall. You call out for him, but get no response.

"Mal!" you try and yell. But it's too much. Your lungs feel like they're being grabbed by a large hand, unable to expand. You aren't aware that you've fallen to your knees, your oxygen-starved brain fighting to breathe. You inhale, heat burning your lungs, but the smokey air isn't enough. You shutter a few times, your vision filling with strange red veins. The next thing you know you're engulfed by darkness, feeling neither heat nor pain.

You are now former Special Agent Shawn Mallory.

_'Where are they?'_ you think, watching from behind a tree several yards from the house_ 'They should have come out ages ago'._  
>You check your watch. Natara and Mal went in the building ten minutes ago, they should have come out already. In panic, you know you can't let Natara die. You think of Mal, whom she must care greatly for. You've seen the way she looks at him, the way he looks back. And you know that as easy as it would be to leave Mal behind, as you owe him nothing, but you can't. Letting him die would hurt Natara, and would make your actions do more harm than good.<p>

You are now Special Agent Natara Williams

You feel someone put their arms around you, but remain blind to the world around you. Is it death embracing you, holding you close? That is what you think, until you feel the cold night air slap against your skin. Feel your burning lungs, as if filled with cold fire, breathe once again. You feel the hard earths slap as your laid roughly down on the ground, feel your rescuers presence leave. You open your eyes, watch the dark figure walk towards what looks like a ball of flame. Watch as they disappear into the ball, coming back with something slung over their shoulder. You recognize the now charred mop of blonde hair, it's Jenna. She must have also succumbed to the smoke and flames before escaping. She's placed quickly beside you, and you attempt to get up and help. You can't, you find yourself unable to make even the slightest movement. Pain erupts from every part of your body, but your filled with a feeling if detachment. You try and call out to your savior, but he's already turned away, and all that comes out is a faint whimper. After what seems like and eternity the figure once again emerges, fire following behind him. He's dragging something, something large and clearly heavy. It's Mal, and the next thing you know both the figure and Mal collapse beside you. You hear them breathing, hear sirens wailing somewhere far away. Somehow you manage to turn your head towards Mal and the other man. Mal is lying on his back, barely stirring. The other man is facing you, his face burnt from the flames. Your vision once again begins to blur, and you can feel a cold creeping up your legs as if you're walking into a deep and cool lake. The cold reaches up your torso, spreading to your neck. As the suffocating cold reaches your face, you can feel yourself drifting away. Once again, you do not resist as the darkness swallows you.

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><p><strong>So I think after this I'll do 1)<em> Never Surrender<em> (since Molly ((_mozzi-girl_)) asked for it a long time ago and I forgot. sorry ). 2) _Ten Things_. Then, if it's not April yet I'll do _Cold Case_ or _What I Saw and How I Died._ When April comes I'll do _The Colored Ribbon_ for autism awareness month. Sound good? **


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey, so just out of curiosity what P.o.V. do you like better? 1st person (I, me, ect.) second person (you are now...) or third person (Mal walked over and...). And also, do you prefer past or present tense? Just want to know, since I plan on uploading_ Never Surrender _chapter one tomorrow and can't decide which I want to do.**

**Thanks, **

**-A  
><strong>

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><p><span>You are now former Special Agent Shawn Mallory<span>

_You open our eyes, white walls surrounding you. You know where you are, who's saved you from your fall even before you look over. Even before you see Genevieve before you. Even before you feel something ice cold run up your arm, dragging you into cool oblivion. _  
><em>When you open your eyes again you are better, you know it. She has fixed you, and only one thing us in your mind. Escape…but there's a man at the door. A man with dark red hair that cradled his head like blood, with puckered scars burnt across his face. He looks at you and smiles. <em>

_"Another one" he says "Just like me". _

_'No!' you think 'No! I can't be like him, I'll NEVER be like him NO!'._

You are now data analyst Amy Chen

You got the call about ten minutes ago. They had called the station after finding the their badges on them, reporting the fallen officers. You were the one to pick it up, the first to inform Captain Yeong. Luckily you were, after staying later than usual trying to finish some DNA tests, just getting ready to leave when the phone rang. After hearing Mal, Natara, the Rose girl and their unidentified rescuer were in critical condition, you speed down the streets of San Francisco. Despite years of warnings, you quickly take out your phone and send a quick text to Ken and Kai, telling them to meet you at the hospital. Your arrive, breathlessly entering the building and looking around the nearly empty waiting room. No familiar face meets you, sending your mind into a state of panic. The receptionist, a pretty woman with a kind-looking face, spots the horror etched in your face and looks up at you.

"Are you here for any of the burn victims we just brought in?" she asks you.  
>Desperate for information, you nod. The woman stands up, her eyes large. "One of them, a man, is not going to make it. His ID, while partly melted, says he is Robert Davis". She pauses "We know it's is a fake, but he is dying. Do you know him?".<br>That question rings in your ears _'Do you know him?'_. You knew, as soon as she said the ID was fake who is was. Every part of your brain screams to lie, to say you do not know this man. That you never did. Instead, you allow yourself to be wordlessly led away by the woman, taking you to just the E.R. Through a glass window, you can see a singled charred figure lying corpse-like in a bed. The figure does not move, but you know this is where you are heading.

"What do I say to him?" you ask, panicked "If he asks about the others?".

"It doesn't matter" says the woman "He won't live long enough to know the difference". She walks away, leaving you alone. It's tempting to stay here, let Shawn die alone. But you know you can't, because he tried to save to others. That there might be small part of the past left. The part you know, Natara would day, is worth saving.

You are now former Special Agent Shawn Mallory

_You run. The first chance you get you run, slipping into the night. Fleeing back to San Francisco. You know you need to fix it…you need to make it better. You can't leave without making amends…_

Your eyes snap open, you hear a door close. More white wall, more hospital equipment. In horror, you look over, half expecting to see Genevieve standing there. Expecting to see her smug look, smiling triumphantly as she just pulled you away from death. But you don't. Who you do see is a woman, but a more compassionate and familiar face.

You are now data analyst Amy Chen

You are speechless as your eyes rest on the man before you. He is clearly unable to move, burns obscuring the features of his face. It was clear that his clothes caught on fire, and he did not stop to put it out right away. You want to gag at the scent of burning flesh, but you stop yourself. You keep your face calm, acting as if nothing is wrong at all. You walk over and sit at a chair beside the bed, knowing prying eyes are behind you. Knowing they are watching from behind the glass, waiting from this man to die. It takes you a moment to find Shawn's eyes, his face is such a charred mess. You know who he is by his eyes, and those alone. That is all you look at, you don't even glance at the rest if his utterly destroyed body. You see something move on Shawn's face, and it takes you a moment until you realize it's his lips. You lean forward, your ear over the remains of his face to catch his final words.

"They…okay?".  
>Anyone who did know what had happened would not know what he was asking, but you know. But how could you answer? There was no way you can say Mal or Natara might not make it, that you don't know. You just can't bring yourself to say that.<p>

"They're waiting for you" you lie "just outside". At those words the beeping of a heart monitor, which you didn't even notice as you entered, begins to quicken. Shawn's eyes begin to close, his eyes seemingly losing a certain light behind them. You let him go. You don't beg him to stay, to keep his eyes open. You allow him to finally be free. No one comes as the monitor fades into one solid beep, and you know it's because Shawn's beyond help. That his body is too badly damaged. A grim looking woman comes in, unplugging the monitor and throwing a large sheet over Shawn's body. She doesn't even look at you, but simply exits as soon as she is done. Normally you would have recoiled at the sight of a dead body, but for some reason this does not bother you. Very slowly, you lift up the white sheet from Shawn's face, so the sheet lies over him like a cover. He could be sleeping, if not for the damage to his face. As you get up to leave, you don't know what to feel. Certainly not happiness or anger, but sadness? That certainly doesn't sum up what your feeling. More of a shocked numbness, that's it. As you walk back to the waiting room you feel several warm tears slide down your cheeks, but as you pass a mirror you see your face does not match the tears. Your face is detached and unmoved, dispassionate even. If not for the tears, no one would even know you were upset. As you pass the mirror you wipe the tears with your sleeve, acting as if nothing has happened. As if you didn't just watch a man die in front of you. As you walk into the waiting room, you don't look back. That image of Shawn lying, burnt and dying, is still embedded into your mind. One question comes to mind as you think of it. _'Do you know him?'._


	9. Chapter 9

_One Week Later_

You are now Special Agent Natara Williams

You shiver slightly as the cold morning air grabs at your still-healing skin.  
><em>'Idiot'<em> you think '_Too stupid to even think to grab a jacket'_.  
>Of course you didn't even think it could be cold outside. You haven't given anything much thought lately. You're still recovering from your injuries, still rather broken. Still taking medicine that you think is for the pain after getting skin grafts, but you no longer care what they're for anymore. All you know is they make your mind numb, making emotions dull and unimportant. For this reason you don't know how you feel about Shawn's death, or how you feel about Jenna being reunited with her mother. It almost seems that you simply don't care anymore. Cold wet grass stings your ankles as you walk past a high stone arch, past a metal fence. You grapple with the hinge on the gate for a moment before it opens, as if your very hands were replaced by ones that were not your own. As if you don't know how to work these new hands. Slowly, you make your way down the stone path, your feet squishing from the wet grass in the sandals you slipped on that morning. You know your destination, but you feel alien and out of place as you walk to the small and thin block of marble embedded in the earth. One of the many sights that you know should evoke some sort of emotion, but doesn't.<p>

"Thought I'd find you here" a voice says. You nearly jump out of your skin, whipping around to the source. You find yourself staring straight into Mal's face, which, like yours, is partially devoid of emotion. You say nothing, which had become the norm for you since you woke up. You can't even count the amount of words you've uttered in the past week on one hand, for you can't remember saying anything.

"You okay?" Mal asks.  
>You nod, tempted to finally break your silence. You find yourself unable to, as if your mouth has forgotten how to form words.<br>Mal stands with you for a moment, both of you trapped in silence. Finally, after what feels like an eternity, you say

"He saved my life". Your voice cracks slightly from under-use, but Mal given you a small smile know he is happy that you found your voice again.

"He did" Mal confirms, as if you had asked a question "Because he wanted you to live. Don't waste it, don't stop living".  
>For a second you want to retort that you can't prevent your heart from beating, or your lungs from pumping. That your body would not obey if you tried to stop any of these involuntary functions. But then you understand what he means, that Shawn gave you life. That his last act was to save you, and Jenna and Mal. That he had nothing left to give. That his end, however painful, was in it's own way, perfect. <p>


End file.
